The Value of Spiritual Mothering

Until I, Deborah, arose, Arose a mother in Israel.  –Judges 5:7

The summer I turned 40, I once again served as a counselor at a week of Bible Camp.  It was difficult.  Experiencing the realities of getting older, I was having trouble sleeping at night.  I didn’t have the energy that I once had to keep up with the kids.  I saw myself as neither fun nor cool.  As I lay in my bunk, feeling discouraged, I asked the Lord, “Why am I here?  Do you have a purpose for me or is it time for me to move on and let a younger person take over this job?”  Later that night there was a knock on my cabin door.  A little girl in the cabin next to mine was homesick and could not stop crying.  The young counselor had run out of ideas and asked me if I could help.  So I sat with the little girl on a bench outside the cabin.  I talked with her, prayed with her, dried her tears, and tucked her back in bed.  The next day another younger counselor approached me.  “There’s a situation in my cabin and I just don’t know what to do.  I know that I need the Lord’s wisdom and I’ve prayed with some of the other counselors.  But I’m overwhelmed and I feel so inadequate.  I just need a mom to talk to.”  I put my arm around her and we talked and prayed together about the situation.  And it was then that the Lord answered the question that I had put to Him the night before.  “You are here to be a mother.” 

Today’s culture idolizes youth.  It is very difficult for women in our society to grow older.  Deborah gives Christian women the perspective that the Lord wants us to have as we mature in years.   Deborah was not a woman who was pushing her way up the corporate or political ladder as some have characterized her.  Judges 5:7 tells us how she saw herself- as “a mother in Israel.”  The Church needs older women today who are willing to take on the role of spiritual mothers. 

Deborah’s story can be found in the book of Judges, chapters 4 and 5.  The first thing we learn about Deborah is that she was a prophetess.  She was a woman who knew God and knew His Word.  The children of Israel came to her for judgment.  God could trust her to faithfully share His words with His people. 

Are you a woman who knows God intimately?  God wants you to know Him, not just know about Him.  And so He has given us His Word. Do you know and love the Word of God?   The Bible is not a book containing lists of “dos” and don’ts”; it reveals to us who God is. When you enter into this Book, you are entering into the heart of God Himself.  Are you faithful to share God’s Word with others?  People should receive more than just your opinion when they come to you with a problem.  In order to give true spiritual help, you will need to direct others to the Lord and to His Word.

          Deborah was available and approachable.  Ideally, that’s the kind of relationship we should have with our natural mother.  It is also what the Lord wants of us as spiritual mothers.  A mother is someone who knows you, yet loves you unconditionally.  Someone who wants what is best for you.  Someone who is always there to listen and who can be counted on to give you wise counsel.  This kind of relationship takes time to build.  Are you investing in the young people around you?  Do you know what’s going on in their lives?  Do you pray for them?  Encourage them?  Love them instead of being critical of them?  The fact that love is the key was brought home to me one evening at our children’s Bible Club.  I overheard one of the “outreach” girls speaking about the club leaders to a friend that she had invited.  “See, I told you that they love you here.”  It wasn’t the fun and games that had impressed this girl.  She kept coming because she was loved.

          As a mother in Israel, Deborah was an encourager.  She understood the plan that God had for Barak and charged him to follow the Lord God fully in it.  She knew what a blessing one man’s obedience could be to the nation.  She understood his fear, and instead of despising him for it, agreed to go with him into the battle.  And yet she was also faithful to exhort Barak, telling him what would happen since he had failed to trust God wholly.

          As we work with young people, their strengths and weaknesses will soon become evident.  Though they would like to come across as having everything together, they tend to be very insecure.  They need lots of encouragement.  If they know the Lord Jesus as their personal Saviour, they have received spiritual gifts from Him.  These gifts need to be developed. As spiritual mothers, we can come alongside and point out opportunities for them to use their gifts in ways that will glorify the Lord and build up His Body. 

          One of a mother’s goals is to help her children move toward independence.  As spiritual mothers, we want the young people we work with to know that we will always be there for them but that they must learn to rely, not on us, but on the Lord Himself.  Still, wherever they go, we can assure them that our prayers will go with them.

          Just like a natural mother, spiritual mothers need to be faithful to rebuke and correct when necessary.  We need to love our young friends enough to warn them if we see them starting to wander down the wrong path- a path that if followed, will lead to great heartache and sorrow.  Their spiritual well-being must be more important to us than maintaining a comfortable, pleasant relationship with them.  For indeed, it may be that the Lord has given us that relationship “for such a time as this.”  I’ve had to come alongside girls who say they belong to the Saviour, hopefully in a gracious and loving manner, and take them to the Word of God to show them the consequences of pursuing a relationship with a young man which would place them in an unequal yoke.  It’s not an easy thing to do.  But love will do the hard thing if it is the right thing to do and the best thing for those we love. 

          When the dust cloud of battle had settled, the Lord was shown to have given Israel the victory over their enemies, just as He had promised.  Deborah and Barak together sang a song of praise to their God.  When our young people experience a victory in the spiritual battle, we need to rejoice with them, being careful to direct their praise to the One who truly deserves the glory.

          The world places very little value on motherhood and often looks down on women who choose to give their lives to that work.  But God regards it as a great and noble undertaking.  A spiritual mother is not looking for recognition or applause.  She is content to remain in the background, quietly laboring on.   Her joy comes from seeing those “children” that God has given her going on well for Him.  “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”