The Wife of a Leader: Expectations, part 1

What expectations do people have of a woman who is the wife of someone in a position of leadership in the local church?  If you ask 20 different people about what the wife of a leader should be like or be doing, you’ll get 20 different answers.  Even though we are serving people, the One we’re really serving is the Lord Himself.  And in the end, it’s the expectations He has of us that we will give an account for.

In 1 Timothy 3 God has set forth qualifications for those who would lead His people.  He begins with overseers, then moves on to deacons, and finally, He speaks to the wives of these men who would lead and serve in the local church.  Let's examine these qualities one by one.  

1 Timothy 3:11- Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. 

Reverence:

The first quality mentioned is reverence- having a seriousness of purpose; dignity in their conduct.  Does this mean that if you’re married to a man in leadership you can’t ever laugh?  No.  A sense of humor usually helps in all areas of life.  But it does mean that you understand the seriousness of spiritual things and when people come to you and your husband with a problem, they know that you will treat them with respect and give them sound Biblical counsel. In order to give good spiritual counsel, you are going to have to be in the Word yourself.  

One of the older women I turn to when I need advice is the wife of a man who served as an elder in our local church for many years.  I go to her because she is a woman who spends time with the Lord and knows His Word.  One of the things I appreciate about her is that she has always been faithful to give me the counsel I needed to hear, not necessarily what I wanted to hear.  She tells me the truth because she fears God and cares more about pleasing Him than pleasing people. But she speaks the truth in love. And because I know that she loves me and prays for me regularly, I can take it from her.  She has been a tremendous example to me in being a woman who is reverent, holding fast to the truth of God’s Word.  

2 Peter 3:18 exhorts us to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”  One of the best ways that you can be a help and encouragement to your husband, and an example to the flock is to be growing in your own personal relationship with the Lord.

I have a question about Hell…

Kids think about eternity.  They ask serious questions.  Here are just a few of the questions that were posed after our Bible club lesson on Hell.

Let’s go to God's Word and see how to answer them.

What happens if I die and go to hell, but then I want to go to Heaven?

Hebrews 9:27 is very clear.  “It is appointed for men to die once, and after this comes judgment.”  When your body dies, the real you that lives inside your body (your soul and spirit) will step into eternity.  Where you spend eternity is based on the choice you make in this life.  In Luke 16:26, the rich man in Hell was told that there is “a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.”  You cannot change your mind about your eternal destiny after you die. 

Do people who go to Hell have to work for Satan?

Contrary to what many people think, Satan is NOT the boss of Hell. 

Hell was created as the place of eternal punishment for the angel Lucifer (who then became known as Satan/the Devil) when he rebelled against God.  It is a place of “everlasting destruction away from the presence of the Lord” (2 Thessalonians 1:9) 

Revelation 20:10 says that “the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone… and will be tormented day and night forever and ever.”

Satan has no authority in Hell.

I know I’m not good enough to get into Heaven, but I don’t think that I’m bad enough to go to Hell.

The question is not how good or bad you are.  The fact is you have sinned.  We all have.  And your sin separates you from God.  If you die without having your sin problem taken care of, you will spend eternity separated from God.  God wants you to spend eternity with Him in Heaven, but He knows that you are not good enough to get there on your own.  That is why He made a made a way that you can have your sins forgiven.  He sent His own Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to die in your place.  “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit.” (1 Peter 3:18)  Because Jesus died and rose again for you, you can receive a living Saviour who will forgive your sins and give you the gift of eternal life.  

So the real question is:  What have you done with the Saviour?  God’s Word is very clear- “He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.” (John 3:36)

There are only two options for you when it comes to a relationship with the Lord Jesus- receive Him or reject Him.  And there are only two options when it comes to eternity- Heaven or Hell.  

Jesus took the punishment of Hell for YOU!

Jesus could not stop the punishment for sin, because God is holy and sin has to be paid for.  But Jesus chose to take your place.  He paid the penalty of eternal death for you.  He did it because He loves you.

The suffering the Lord Jesus endured for you was horrible.  Jesus had never done anything wrong.  He was God the Son- He was perfect.  Yet He allowed men to mistreat Him, beat Him and nail Him to a wooden cross.  

Jesus took the darkness of Hell for you.  As He hung on the cross, the land was covered in darkness.  God the Father put all of your sins, and my sins, and the sins of the whole world upon the Lord Jesus, and then poured out His righteous judgment for sin on His own Son.  

Jesus took the punishment of an eternal Hell for you.  Jesus is not just a man- He is the eternal God.  He offered up the value of His eternal life to pay your penalty of eternal death.  

Jesus took the loneliness of Hell for you.  During that time, God the Father, who cannot allow sin in His presence, turned his back on the Lord Jesus.  Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”  Jesus was separated from His Father because of your sins and mine.  

Why did Jesus willingly die on the cross?  He died so that people lost in their sin could be found and rescued.  You do not have to spend eternity in Hell because of what Jesus did for you.  

From the cross, Jesus cried out, “It is finished.”  The payment for our sins was complete.  He died, He was buried, and three days later, He rose from the dead- a living Saviour.  

Because Jesus is alive, He is able to save you.  When a person takes the Lord Jesus to be their Saviour, He gives them eternal life.  He forgives their sins and promises that they will spend eternity in Heaven with Him.

"But He was wounded for our transgressions,

He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,

and by His stripes we are healed."

(Isaiah 53:5)

E T E R N I T Y - the flip side

Hell is a very real place, and children need to be taught the truth about it.  Jesus Himself taught about Hell when He lived on this Earth.  He did not do it in a scary way, but very matter of factly.  It is because of the Lord’s great love for us that He warns us about what is ahead if we die without having our sin problem taken care of.

Why did God create Hell?

Matthew 25:41 tells us that Hell is a place of punishment which God “prepared for the devil and his angels.”  God never intended for people to go to Hell.  But when Adam chose to believe and obey Satan instead of God, he became a sinner.  His sin separated him from God, who is holy.  Adam had made the choice, not just for himself, but for his family as well, to be on Satan’s team.  Because God must punish all sin, Adam (and all of his descendants) would now have to share in the punishment that God had intended for Satan and his bad angels. 

So, what does the Bible say that Hell is like?

We will use the word HELL to help us remember 4 things about that awful place.

Hell is H- horrible.

Luke 16:23-26 tells the experience of a man who died and went to Hell.

Hell is a place of suffering.  An eternal fire burns there- the flames will never be put out. 

Hell is also a place of utter darkness.

The sounds in Hell are weeping and wailing. 

There is no hope in Hell that things will ever be any different- there is only despair.

Hell is E- eternal.

God wants to forgive your sins and give you the gift of eternal life.  But if you will not receive His gift, and die without having your sin problem taken care of, then the punishment you will suffer is eternal death.  (Matthew 25:46)

There is no escape once you are in Hell.  You will spend eternity away from the presence of God.

Hell is L- lonely.

Some people think Hell is a place where they will get to party with all of their bad friends and do all the sinful things they want to do.  But that was not the case for the man in Luke 16.

Hell is a very lonely place.  There will be many people there, but each one will suffer alone for their sins.

Hell is L- for the lost.

When I came into this world, I was born lost in my sin.  If I go out of this world still in my sin, with no Saviour, then I will be lost from God forever.

These are some very sobering facts.  Next time we will look at what the Lord Jesus did so that no one need experience this horrible place. 

"He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; 

and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, 

but the wrath of God abides on him.'

(John 3:36)

(Again, thanks to Craig & Nancy Rolinger for this teaching acrostic.)

Reverent Behavior

What do you think of when you picture an older woman who is reverent in her behavior?


https://www.rubylane.com/blog/The-Ladies-of-the-Red-Hats 

Below is the poem that started the red hat society.
Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. 

Jenny Joseph

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/warning/

Compare Titus 2:3-5

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, 

not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine,

teaching what is good, 

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands,

to love their children,

to be sensible, 

pure, 

workers at home, 

kind, 

being subject to their own husbands, 

so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Welcome

Welcome to Peanut Butter in the Pantry. Teaching what is good is our motto from Titus 2. We want to share things we have learned and are learning in our endeavor to become women who bring glory to God, from basic practical things to the more spiritual just as outlined in our theme verses.

  Titus 2: 3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.