The Wife of a Leader: Expectations, part 1

What expectations do people have of a woman who is the wife of someone in a position of leadership in the local church?  If you ask 20 different people about what the wife of a leader should be like or be doing, you’ll get 20 different answers.  Even though we are serving people, the One we’re really serving is the Lord Himself.  And in the end, it’s the expectations He has of us that we will give an account for.

In 1 Timothy 3 God has set forth qualifications for those who would lead His people.  He begins with overseers, then moves on to deacons, and finally, He speaks to the wives of these men who would lead and serve in the local church.  Let's examine these qualities one by one.  

1 Timothy 3:11- Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. 

Reverence:

The first quality mentioned is reverence- having a seriousness of purpose; dignity in their conduct.  Does this mean that if you’re married to a man in leadership you can’t ever laugh?  No.  A sense of humor usually helps in all areas of life.  But it does mean that you understand the seriousness of spiritual things and when people come to you and your husband with a problem, they know that you will treat them with respect and give them sound Biblical counsel. In order to give good spiritual counsel, you are going to have to be in the Word yourself.  

One of the older women I turn to when I need advice is the wife of a man who served as an elder in our local church for many years.  I go to her because she is a woman who spends time with the Lord and knows His Word.  One of the things I appreciate about her is that she has always been faithful to give me the counsel I needed to hear, not necessarily what I wanted to hear.  She tells me the truth because she fears God and cares more about pleasing Him than pleasing people. But she speaks the truth in love. And because I know that she loves me and prays for me regularly, I can take it from her.  She has been a tremendous example to me in being a woman who is reverent, holding fast to the truth of God’s Word.  

2 Peter 3:18 exhorts us to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”  One of the best ways that you can be a help and encouragement to your husband, and an example to the flock is to be growing in your own personal relationship with the Lord.