Partnership in Parenting

Another quality of the man that God calls to spiritual leadership in the local church is "...one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence."  (1 Timothy 3:4)

You are part of this “house”.  Are you supporting your husband as the leader in your home?  If you want your children to respect and submit to authority, then you must respect and submit to your husband’s authority in the home.  Your attitudes and example as a wife have immeasurable impact on your children.  They are always watching you- and they don’t miss a thing! 

The word “rule” in this verse means to stand before, to lead, and indicates that this is done with care and diligence.  God commands us as parents in Ephesians 6:4 to bring up our children “in the training and admonition of the Lord”.  This is very much a partnership between you and your husband.  You must be in agreement in the raising of your children and it must be done purposefully.  Do your children see the reality of your personal relationship with the Lord?  Do you have a plan to systematically teach them the Word of God?  Do you pray for them and with them regularly?  Are you balanced and consistent in your discipline- not being harsh or threatening, and at the same time, not being permissive or making excuses for sin? 

Parenting is an area in which I have been completely cast upon the Lord.  I’ve had to remind myself that I am to be training my children for their good and not my glory; for spiritual reality in their lives and not for appearances.  Unfortunately, sometimes when my children have been involved in sin, my first reaction has been embarrassment because of how their actions reflected on me.  That was simply pride on my part.  The children of elders, deacons, and full-time workers are not perfect.  They are sinners and they are going to sin.  The important thing is what you, as the parent, do when that happens.  We need to respond in a way that honors the Lord and follow Biblical principles in dealing with the situation.  And when my children do make a choice to obey the Lord in a certain area, I need to humbly thank God for working in their lives and for them responding to Him, rather than giving myself credit. 

So, if your children are small, I would encourage you to ask the Lord to help you lay aside any selfishness or laziness on your part and be diligent to pick up a paddle and use it according to the directives in God’s Word.  Believe His Word and trust Him to work in your child’s heart.  As your children get older, don’t think that your job is done.  A teenager needs you just as much as a toddler, if not more.  Again, ask the Lord to help you be willing to set aside your own plans in order to be available for them when they need you.  And never, never, never stop praying for them.